I set goals to achieve something in the future. I identify daily activity that I think will build toward that goal. I commit to prioritize these daily activities during the time between now and achieving the goal.

Then I do something else.

I know it conflicts with the priorities I set with my long term goal in mind, but, in the moment, the value of the shiny object feels clear and present — and I find myself chasing it.

I used to blame a lack of discipline and wonder why I could not establish new habits. But, after some reflection, I think my problem is not a lack of discipline but a lack of confidence — specifically confidence in the priorities I set and the daily activities I committed to — the belief that these are actually the steps to achieve my goal is the thing that fades — aka confidence.

When I have confidence, the discipline is there. There is no FOMO and saying “no” is easy.

This means to achieve my goals, I need to build confidence not discipline. Knowing this, the thing I need to practice is a focus on building confidence rather than habit forming hacks and gritting my teeth as I dig for discipline.

I do this by taking a moment to remind myself why I believed in the small things when I made the commitment. I go back to the choice. Take a breath and rebuild my confidence and my focus on the small steps towards the bigger goal.

So far it’s working.